No promises

When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath. It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds.

~Anonymous

Last night as I checked my Google Reader one last time before bed, I was stunned into disbelief and silence at the only post in my feed.

Every babyloss parent has such a burden to carry, and with it, a lot of us push forward, hoping to bring a rainbow baby into our broken lives...not to take the place of the child or children we have lost, but to help that wound in our hearts diminish a little in size. Many of the blogs in my sidebar are from women (or man!) who have experienced the darkest time and are either trying again, are pregnant again or have had their wish fulfilled.

But it doesn't always happen that way. Life is by no means fair...and we know that, for why else would our babies have died? Pregnancy after loss is usually fraught with fear of a repeat, fear that a living baby is not meant to be. Sometimes that fear eats people alive and lingers after a successful birth (we all know about SIDS, too). Other times, those parents walk a more peaceful path, step through those moments of fear, and embrace the gamble.

April brought three healthy rainbow baby boys...and one rainbow angel girl. My heart is broken for her parents...for all of us who know how having one angel feels and can only imagine if our worst nightmare came true.

If you're able, please go give Becky at For the Love of Baby Liam some love. Liam's baby sister, Evelynn, joined him on April 24th in that special place our babies go when we lose them.