Wednesday, May 1, 2013

31 weeks 1 day

How Far Along: 31 weeks 1 day today. E2 should weigh approximately 3 pounds (the weight of 4 navel oranges), but we all know he weighed more than that, um, three weeks ago. He should be about 17 inches long, crown to heel. OMG!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm pretty sure I must have gained about 28 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight. That's a bummer, as I was hoping to somehow not gain more than 25-30 this whole pregnancy. There is no.way.period. I will not gain more than 2 pounds between now and delivery, given little man is close to putting on half a pound a week. Sigh. At least I'm still hearing that I don't look pregnant at all from the front. :)

Maternity Clothes: Yep.

Movement: He's had more big movements this past week. I was finally able to get some on video (on my phone), but I had to wait for it. Paul also finally saw E2's hiccups through my belly last night at dinner! Today it feels like he's been either rolling around or stretching his arms and legs, and it feels very Braxton-Hicks-y, which I don't love (makes me nervous). I felt a knee or elbow very clearly while my hand was resting on my belly this afternoon. Cool!

Sleep: Not bad.

Gender: A baby brother for Aliya and Bennett.

Symptoms: Same as previous, with the addition of two episodes of really sharp pains above and to the right of my belly button. They felt like they were uterus-related, not from deep within. One of them hit last night during bathroom trip number 320 (ok, not really, but probably number 4) as I made my way back to bed. That one nearly doubled me over...but that was it. Just once, and then gone. Baby's weird movements, perhaps? Oh, and I caught Paul staring at my belly again tonight...this time, it was due to the (now very evident, angry, red) stretch marks. Sigh again.

Cravings: much so that it makes deciding what to have for dinner a real pain in the ass.

Belly Button In or Out: Still mostly in, turning inside out a little bit more at the top.

Freak-out of the Week: Wowsa. I wouldn't call them freak outs, but man have I shed a lot of tears this past week. There's just a lot...a lot of stress, a lot of grief, a lot of decisions that feel overwhelming, anxiety over the impending arrival of our little guy, fears that something may still go wrong, etc. One big thing is I realized the other day that May was right around the corner, which starts anew the anniversary period of conceiving the twins (May 11th), finding out we were pregnant (May 24th at home and 25th via blood test), through Aliya's first placental abruption in mid-June, through all the appointments and vaginal discharge changes and bleeding in June and July, and then her water breaking and loss of our babies in August. E2's due date is just three days before the 23 month anniversary of losing Aliya and Bennett...and the 2-year anniversary will be just a month later. It's so hard to believe...and I am missing them so, so much. We met a couple with a beautiful little almost two-year old on Sunday and she's been pulling at my heartstrings ever since. Don't get me wrong, I am so, so grateful to be expecting our little miracle boy, love him so very much already and can't wait to share our lives with him...but part of me worries I may never get to parent a living little girl, and that breaks my heart into millions and jillions of pieces and hurts me to my core. It's something I can't even say aloud to Paul because I will sob, and I just don't allow myself to fall apart like that in front of him anymore because he doesn't know what to do with me. Thank God for continued counseling.

Looking Forward To: Our next milestone, 32 weeks (and my baby shower on May 11th!), and our birthing preparation workshop with the doula the weekend of May 18th!

Next Appointment: Monday, May 6th for another cervical length ultrasound.

Miscellaneous: I actually made progress this week on finding daycare and a pediatrician! Nothing like realizing the stress burden was making my life unmanageable. :) I researched both over the weekend. Daycare is still difficult, but I did get on the wait list for one and toured it today. It made me a little sad to see the infants and all the cribs in one room...I don't know what I expected, but it didn't warm my heart, that's for sure. I found a pediatrician (based on the clinic and then the ped's bio) that I was interested in, and was able to set up a free "meet and greet" appointment with him for next week. I hope I like him, so I can cross that one off the list. Our remodel has made no progress in the last week, other than me now being about 80% sure that I want to keep the walls neutral and the bedding bright, rather than vice versa. (Hey, that's progress, don't knock it!) We still need to look at carpet (haven't even started that), and I do need to pick paint colors, but I do think I'm closer there, too. Oh, and choose and buy fabric for crib bedding and curtains. Again, I'm a lot closer...and thrilled that quilting and crafting are such huge hobbies for people because there are some great online fabric stores to choose from!

The belly at 31 weeks (yesterday).


  1. Sorry about those darn stretch marks. Meh. They're jerks... but at least there's a great reason. :)

  2. You loook great!!! Love the bump!!!

  3. I know just what you mean about wanting a little girl... I felt exactly the same way. It's very, very hard to explain, especially because before I got pregnant ever, I didn't care at all what the gender would be and would have been fine having only boys. It's just different once you are pregnant and you're already a mom to a boy or a girl (or a boy AND a girl, in your case) and then to not be able to actively parent them... Well, you know how it is. Anyway, I get it.

    And sorry about the stretch marks. That blows, even if it is worth it in the end. :)

  4. Glad to know everything is going well. Hoping the last two months will be great and you'll be able to enjoy them. I know how much you must be waiting to meet your little man.


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