Figures

On a day where every bit of energy has been sucked from my body, where I actually consider how nice it would be to stay home in my sweats instead of heading off again to our support group meeting 30 minutes away (in 30 minutes...don't worry, we ARE going!), it just figures that the infamous package of Enfamil formula - the one all of us BLMs love to hate - was waiting in the mailbox for me when I got home.

Amazingly, I didn't cry. I think I'm just too damned worn out to cry today. I'm busy packing up my desk, gifting co-workers with files they might need in my absence, preparing to start a new job on Tuesday. Dandy...but that's a post for a different day...

I think back to the "we're almost to the second trimester, we can be excited" Amy and Paul who blithely agreed to be signed up for all the bells and whistles when we bought my first maternity clothes at Motherhood back in July. "Of course, sign me up!" I thought, giddy at the fact that we'd nearly made it to the second trimester, that we had both seen AND heard our babies' heart beats four times already so our risk of miscarriage must be really low, that I was totally big enough that I needed not only maternity pants but also shirts (and almost bought underwear, too, because OMG regular underwear elastic stretching across a twin-pregnancy belly is horrid uncomfortable).

If we only could have known how badly our lives would go...

I received two issues of American Baby magazine before my "STOP!!!" request took full effect. (The response from the girl on the other end of the customer service line as I told her WHY I wanted to cancel my trial subscription was *classic*. Guess they don't get the "I don't need it, my babies died," answer very often.) I thought I'd covered my bases...but apparently there is no escape from the f*cking Enfamil.

Nice timing, too. The company has all our data. They know my babies should be here any day now. Except my babies came too, too early, long ago, and they won't be needing formula. (As an aside, I wouldn't have fed it anyway. I had every intention of tandem breast-feeding my babies, even if it killed me. The formula samples were to be stored away for those rare times when we didn't have breast milk in the freezer or boobs at the ready.)

Coincidentally, the actual 37-week/full term for twins milestone yesterday, January 11th, was sort of peaceful, at least in comparison to the days leading up to it. (Correction, in comparison to every day between Christmas and yesterday.) I'm very grateful the folks at Mead Johnson didn't actually get the Enfamil to me yesterday, on time. It would have ruined my peaceful day.

So, I'm not exactly sure what to do with this stuff. Should I donate it? Maybe I'll just throw it away...but geez, that seems so wasteful to me. Dilemma...

One thing I DO know...next time I'm in Motherhood buying maternity clothes - if I get to have a next time - I will fight the cashier to the death before I'll let her sign me up for all their marketing crap. I don't need to jinx myself yet again.