Total Weight Gain/Loss: As of yesterday (17w6d), I was up 7 lbs total.
Maternity Clothes: 100%, well, except for undies. I'm actually back in my "regular" undies, which hit an inch or so above my pubic bone. I'm finding those more comfortable currently than my granny panties, which come up over my belly button.
Movement: Getting much more frequent and stronger. Today I felt a kick from the outside for the first time ever. It was amazing!
Sleep: Crappy. And the dreams, OMG!
Gender: Two weeks 2 days and counting...
Symptoms: Ravenous hunger; stuffy nose; still nauseous (still on Zofran). Occassional ligament pains this week. Spotty short term memory. A little clumsy (I've opened cupboard doors into my belly more times this last week than I'd care to admit). Sore nipples. Slightly improved skin (yay!). Lower back/backside of ribs pain. Less fatigue this week.
Cravings: None this week...although I've been sort of jonesing for some Hostess, especially those cinnamon sugar-ish donuts in the mixed box (you know, powdered sugar, cinnamon sugar and plain...the plain are only good for picking up bits of the stuff that falls off the other two kinds). Sad, isn't it? Perhaps a buyer will come through and start producing those products again soon...by which time, I probably won't want to be anywhere near them.
Belly Button In or Out: In, shallower, and a little achy.
Freak-out of the Week: No freak-outs, just grief. I can't believe my babies will have been gone a year and a half in just a week. How has that much time gone by? I hate that they feel so far away from me...and at the same time, I'm finding it really difficult to grieve and be pregnant at the same time, which I know is normal. Perhaps part of it is we're closer to the end of the 18- to 24-month hard grieving timeline we were told we might experience, and it's actually easier...but I feel more like I don't have the mental space, and that's not a pleasant place to be. It's my job to keep my babies' memory alive...it's the ONLY way I can mother my children. And I just don't feel like I'm doing a very good job right now...even though I cry every single stinking weekend.
Looking Forward To: The anatomy scan, and announcing our pregnancy. I keep having to catch myself from posting a telling remark in reply to my friends' comments on Facebook. But, really, I just won't feel ready to come clean until after the anatomy scan.
Next Appointment: Monday, February 4th for another transvaginal cervical length ultrasound. We're also (finally!) meeting with a doula on the evening of Tuesday, February 5th. I'll talk about that in a future post.
Miscellaneous: I was stuck listening at my desk to an awful 2-hour webinar at work today (yawn), so I entertained myself by Googling "fetal foot length" and then marking lengths for 18 and 20 weeks on a piece of scrap paper. Then I found an online medical journal with charts for bone lengths at almost ALL gestations (femur, fibula, tibula, humerus, radius, ulna) and wrote those down. Arms don't contribute to length, but it is interesting how arms and legs are nearly the same lengths by now (like, within a millimeter or two). I was really curious how big E2 is in comparison to my little angels, my only frames of reference. Aliya and Bennett were 5.5 inches and 5.0 inches crown to heel, respectively (by Nurse V's tape). If I assume 50th percentile all across the board, then E2 should measure somewhere around 7.4 inches crown to heel. (Paul and I are both tall - I'm nearly 5'10" and he's 6'2" - so E2 might be longer than that.) WOW.
|The belly at 18 weeks. It still looks much the|
same, although it feels a little "pointier" today
near the top.