Saturday, October 27, 2012

Cautiously optimistic

Sorry to keep you all on pins and needles all week long. I've heard from many of you who've been dying to know the outcome of our IVF...

Holy pee sticks, Batman! Also, they don't make 'em like they
used to; the battery on the first digital test only lasted a day!
Yes, it's true...we are officially pregnant! I wasn't going to test at home until Monday morning, the day before beta, because a) that's when I got my first BFP with the twins (13dpIUI that time) and b) I take my high dose weekly prescription Vitamin D pill Monday mornings and I'm not supposed to take it I'm pregnant.

Plans are fine...but late last week I started counting on my fingers, comparing how many days post-transfer I was to how I remember feeling/acting that number of days before BFP last time. It wasn't so much a physical symptom thing; after all, I'm on Crinone (8% progesterone gel) and Estrace (estrogen, 3 times daily), so those would heartily mask and/or mimic pregnancy symptoms. Still...I noticed a certain edginess one evening, wigging out a bit over something that really wasn't so important, then remembering that I did the same thing five days before we got our BFP with the twins.

(That time was a little more important, since we'd arrived late to a hotel after driving for hours, exhausted, and having argued over where to eat on the way, only to find that they'd given up our promised/reserved king-sized non-smoking room and had only a single queen room for us. Enter stern words, followed by anger, followed by meltdown. "You mean I have to perch on the edge of a queen-sized bed all night while my bed hog husband takes up the whole thing?! There is a reason I specifically requested a king. Thanks a lot for ruining a decent night's sleep." [I actually got an e-mailed apology from the hotel manager later, and felt bad, because by then I knew why I was so sensitive.])

Saturday I felt a little off...cranky, not really happy to see Paul when he got home, hungry, achy, just off. I'd been having lots of mild, persistant crampiness around my ovaries and uterus, sort of a vague, can't tell exactly where it's coming from, not really middle, not really one side, just everywhere. (I guess that's enough to make a girl pissy!) We ended up going out for a late dinner after spending the afternoon with our inlaws and baby Finn at the pumpkin patch (fun!!) (because I'd been jonesing for pizza and he was too late the night before to make that happen), and Paul said, "You want to stop and buy pee sticks on the way home, don't you?" Yep.

We hit the home front with two boxes of HPTs in hand (3 First Response Early Result (FRER) pregnancy tests, which are super sensitive, and 2 Clear Blue Easy (CBE) digitals, which aren't as sensitive). I chose a FRER first. It took the requisite three minutes of waiting, but an unmistakeable second pink line appeared, though faint. I showed Paul, and while he could see the second line, he thought it was too faint to be real. (Any second line is a positive, folks, but ok.) I said, "Fine, I'll get up with you in the morning and pee on a CBE, and we'll see what it says."

So, I did, I got up at 5:30 a.m. Sunday morning (he was going hunting, thus the early rise), peed on a CBE, and just like with the twins, I had a "Pregnant" result in less than the 3 minute wait time. I marched into the bedroom with that test and showed him, and all he could do was grin.

Obviously, you can tell I made my way through both boxes of tests over the next few days. I was thrilled as punch to see the much darker line the morning of my first beta.

First beta, Tuesday morning: 74. Dr. H. called with that result in the afternoon, and I was sort of underwhelmed, having been hoping for at least 100 (with the twins it was 227 at that same gestational point, but that was with two babes in there).

Second beta, Friday morning (yesterday): can I just whine about how long we had to wait for this?! I got this one drawn at Dr. M.'s office because the lab I used Tuesday didn't get the meaning of a "STAT" order. Well, Dr. C. runs the bloodwork and he wasn't coming in until 1:00, and Sierra, Dr. M.'s medical assistant, said she'd call with results as soon as she faxed them back to UW. By 4:55 p.m. (they close at 5:00), I couldn't take it anymore, and called Sierra. They had my results...


Holy crap. That's a doubling time of just 27.23 hours, faster than with the twins. Way to go, E2!! I had a momentary plea with God to please not have let E2 twin (there's an increased risk with blastocyst transfer in IVF). Dr. H. called within 20 minutes to let me know the results (that I had to pretend I didn't already know!) and was very pleased. She said a nurse would call to set up my first ultrasound for my 6th week of pregnancy (I am 4 weeks 4 days today), and if we see a strong heartbeat, they'll cut me loose to regular OB care then. (Nurse E called me less than 10 minutes later and got me scheduled for the morning of 11/8, the same day we see a genetics counselor and my MFM - who I've decided to have co-manage my case with Dr. M. for the long haul.)

And then, just before 6:00, Dr. M. called, too! He gave me my beta results (for the third time!), recalculated my due date (also for the third time, July 2nd, folks), and congratulated us. He said he'll look forward to seeing us return to his care.

So, there you have it. Our rainbow baby is on the way (as Nurse E. said, and we agree, "...we are "cautiously optimistic..."). Our last ditch IVF actually (knocking on wood) worked, at least so far. It's super early, of course, and things can happen...but we know that while our little E2 has a chromosomal issue, it's nothing that increases risk of early or late loss, or will be fatal later in life. It's just a challenge is all.

Speaking of, we have decided to keep the baby's sex and actual chromosomal issue to ourselves for now, save for family. To that end, I've also turned off my blog's Facebook feed, so if that's how you normally get your updates, please bookmark my blog address. I won't likely turn the feed back on until we formally announce our pregnancy to the world at large, sometime after the 14 week mark (for obvious reasons). So please, please, don't post anything pregnancy-related on my Facebook wall or mention me in any of your posts.

Here we go!!!


  1. Oh my gosh! I am so so happy for you my dear! What a blessing that little E2 stayed with you. It was meant to be. You are such a brave and strong woman to have moved forward knowing all you do, but this embie was obviously meant to meet you.

    I will be thinking of you and this child non-stop. I hope you have the care of very attentive docs and are blessed with an uneventful pregnancy. Many hugs!

  2. I'm cautiously optimistic too!! This is wonderful news.

  3. :) Congratulations! :) Remaining optimistic for you, too. xox

  4. So, so happy! Your story made me cry just now, because I am SO hopeful for you. I'll keep reading, so keep posting updates!!!

  5. so very happy for you!!! fingers crossed. grow baby grow.

  6. eek! How exciting!!! HUGE PRAYERS!!

  7. Great news:)Hoping for an uneventful 9 months.

  8. OMG!!!!!!! YAY!!!!! So happy for this initial wonderful news!! Hoping for a string heartbeat on the 8th! Go E2!

  9. I'm so very happy for you!!! I know it feels like a long road, but every good thing has to start somewhere. Here's to cautious optimism.

  10. So, so, so, so happy for you! Truly the best news of the year, hands down.

  11. So happy to hear the wonderful news, I have been thinking about you and hoping, hoping, hoping for this outcome and here we are! Keeping you all in my thoughts :)

  12. YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! Such great news. Hoping this little one finds his/her way to your arms safely in July.

  13. Wonderful news! Truly happy for you. Huge congratulations!!

  14. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! This is the best news I've read all day!

  15. Congratulations. Those hpt sticks brought back memories of my own exactly this time last year when I had gone through the IUI. Wishing whole heartedly you will hold your baby(babies) in your arms after a beautiful nine months.


What are your thoughts?