Monday, October 15, 2012

No vacancy

This second day of being on pins and needles was almost worse than yesterday. We were grateful for the extra time yesterday and last night to really research and consider what our hearts felt the right decision for us - and for this potential child - would be.

On our way to our leased cattle pasture late yesterday evening on our way to bring home our calving kit (we have a calf due between now and October 22nd), we agreed...if this emby made it through the night, we would transfer it. We choose this child.

I was near tears as we sat and waited to meet with Dr. Z. this morning, my bladder full and Valium already in my tummy. We saw both of our nurses at the coffee stand before we went upstairs, and I (ever hyper-aware of the moods and reactions of others) thought I caught a sympathetic vibe from Nurse J. My mood crashed.

Upstairs, the medical assistant made it sound more like we'd be going downstairs to the procedure room, so... ?

Soon enough, Dr. Z. came in and said that not only had Embryo 2 continued to develop well, but it was already hatching - totally sticky and ready to implant. We confirmed we wanted to proceed, and after just a bit more waiting, it was time!

I changed into a gown and Paul into scrubs, we put booties and caps on, and walked into the procedure room. Within minutes, we were underway, the ultrasound wand on my belly guiding the placement of the catheter through my cervix and into exactly the perfect spot. The embryologist came in with the embryo loaded (in something I didn't see but that was attached to the catheter), and the ultrasonographer switched the machine to full color view so we could watch the "package" (embie in some special sauce) land. One check of the catheter under the microscope and a shout of, "All clear!," and we were done!

My instructions are to alternate laying down two hours with being up two hours, but nothing strenuous. I'll be back to work on Wednesday.

Dr. Z. confirmed what my research on the syndrome we're facing showed...symptoms are highly variable and may not all present. We know as early as is possible and we will have time, should we actually get pregnant, to prepare and intervene when/if necessary.

There still are no guarantees we'll get pregnant this time (Dr. Z. said normally 40-50%, up to 60% in his experience). Everything is in our favor for the moment, and for that we are grateful.

And...we feel like the fact that transfer was today, October 15th, National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, a day when our beloved firstborn daughter and son are so close in our thoughts, and a day when Dr. Z., who really made this all possible, was on duty for transfers...well, could that have been more perfect?


  1. I got my FX. I'm hoping and praying with all my heart for you guys:)

  2. 👍soooooo happy to read this!!!! Sending looooots of love and luck and prayers and baby dust and vibes and whatever else!! ;) keep us posted!

  3. I am following your story closely my friend. Take it from someone who has always desperately wanted children and cannot have them, I am praying and hoping for a healthy pregnancy for you and Paul.

  4. I know this was not the outcome you both hoped for out of this cycle. It certainly isn't ideal...far from.
    But I am proud of you for giving this embie a chance through everything. I know there are some who might not have been able to make that decision. I don't judge them - this is so difficult.
    I wish you all the luck in this possible pregnancy and hope things work out in your favor. Many hugs.

  5. Amy and Paul, as always we are rooting for you and your future with the children your hearts so clearly ache for. Hugs, and all the hope in the world, we wish to you both!

  6. that must have been such a difficult decision for you...i hope all turns out well. stick emby stick!

  7. Wishing you all the best. It's a reminder that although technology allows us to do such incredible things and know more information than seems imaginable, ANY pregnancy is a crapshoot. Biology has a way of surprising us and we can never be fully prepared. It's heavy to go into this with so much knowledge on the front end, but it doesn't change the essence of what you're doing-- having a baby you will love no matter what. Fingers crossed.

  8. Best of luck! sending positive thoughts your way for the little embryo to stick with you guys.

  9. I keep secretly stalking your blog to see if you've updated. Sending every kind of prayer, good thoughts, etc. your way! Hope you are starting to feel like crap as that baby settles in!! ;)


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