No vacancy

This second day of being on pins and needles was almost worse than yesterday. We were grateful for the extra time yesterday and last night to really research and consider what our hearts felt the right decision for us - and for this potential child - would be.

On our way to our leased cattle pasture late yesterday evening on our way to bring home our calving kit (we have a calf due between now and October 22nd), we agreed...if this emby made it through the night, we would transfer it. We choose this child.

I was near tears as we sat and waited to meet with Dr. Z. this morning, my bladder full and Valium already in my tummy. We saw both of our nurses at the coffee stand before we went upstairs, and I (ever hyper-aware of the moods and reactions of others) thought I caught a sympathetic vibe from Nurse J. My mood crashed.

Upstairs, the medical assistant made it sound more like we'd be going downstairs to the procedure room, so... ?

Soon enough, Dr. Z. came in and said that not only had Embryo 2 continued to develop well, but it was already hatching - totally sticky and ready to implant. We confirmed we wanted to proceed, and after just a bit more waiting, it was time!

I changed into a gown and Paul into scrubs, we put booties and caps on, and walked into the procedure room. Within minutes, we were underway, the ultrasound wand on my belly guiding the placement of the catheter through my cervix and into exactly the perfect spot. The embryologist came in with the embryo loaded (in something I didn't see but that was attached to the catheter), and the ultrasonographer switched the machine to full color view so we could watch the "package" (embie in some special sauce) land. One check of the catheter under the microscope and a shout of, "All clear!," and we were done!

My instructions are to alternate laying down two hours with being up two hours, but nothing strenuous. I'll be back to work on Wednesday.

Dr. Z. confirmed what my research on the syndrome we're facing showed...symptoms are highly variable and may not all present. We know as early as is possible and we will have time, should we actually get pregnant, to prepare and intervene when/if necessary.

There still are no guarantees we'll get pregnant this time (Dr. Z. said normally 40-50%, up to 60% in his experience). Everything is in our favor for the moment, and for that we are grateful.

And...we feel like the fact that transfer was today, October 15th, National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, a day when our beloved firstborn daughter and son are so close in our thoughts, and a day when Dr. Z., who really made this all possible, was on duty for transfers...well, could that have been more perfect?